When you relax, you experience care.

शमथ। Samatha

People have been increasingly feeling lonely off late. Inventions like mobile phones were designed so that people could communicate with each other from anywhere anytime. Such communication, while increasing efficiency, was also meant to keep people closer despite the distance. Communication was always a key to human development, and the human race has always employed innovative means to achieve this. From the drums of forest dwellers to specially trained birds, our ancestors have tried it all. But none of them could transcend distance as we are able to do today. Still, why do we feel lonely than ever before?

Communication ensures only status updates. It does not make you feel valuable. Underneath all those sense of power and achievement, every individual wants to belong and to feel valuable; call it a primitive instinct if you want. Someone who travels for twelve hours in a bus on a Friday night to spend the weekend with their family is expected to spend those days with the family.  But from the moment of reaching home, they will be eager to hang out with friends. How can we justify this behaviour?

In your mind, you travelled the distance to be with your family, but it is not difficult for an observer to see that you have spent most of your waking moments with your friends. This is where you must understand the power of the unconscious pull of your need to belong and to feel valuable. Friend circles are where logic and rationale are kept out; frivolousness is celebrated. A week in the office where logic and reason takes precedence makes you long for your friends, but those whom you call friends near you, can hardly fill that vacuum the way your old mates can do.

Frequent trips down the memory lane, under various pretence, becomes the order of the day. But after each trip, you go back to your lonely self quicker than before. Your waking moments are occupied by reason and logic, but your mind is nostalgic about the good old days. The result is you cannot have a good night’s sleep. Even the strongest looking person feels that “I am not valued”.

Sense of value is a primitive survival instinct. Do not try to reclaim it from your past. You have to tell yourself that you are safe here and now. Once your mind accepts this message in its subconscious levels, you will feel relaxed. There, reason, logic, fun, frolic, everything will exist side by side. Your eyes will once again see friends who care for you right where you are.

Feel Blessed
Swastham Shantam Sampurnam