You enter into a relationship to nurture and nourish and to be nurtured and nourished.
If you look at the other as dependent on you or you look at the other as someone to depend upon, you will never proceed beyond meeting needs. There are some who look at the other as if they are some kind of drug out there to meet their daily dosage. This is even more toxic than the ‘meeting needs’ scenario.
Two people committing to live together sexually and emotionally is a great act of trust aimed at
individual development and social development. They take upon themselves a great responsibility of facilitating an efficient future while catering to everyday requirements.
More than the commitment between two people it is the commitment to oneself.
To let the wine mature, the lid has to be tightly sealed for a long time. This is the reality of a relationship too. To let it mature one has to give time and also close many windows and doors. Most of the time problems between couples are not created for the want of understanding between them, but to accommodate external forces. To be in a relationship means to enter a new life. If you want to carry your old life into it, both will suffer. It requires certain closures and new openings created together.
Relationships are not games. It is a responsible choice as well as a commitment. It can be demanding. People who attend a party think only of the entertainment value. But to organize a good party demands intense effort and commitment. If this is the case with organizing a party, people entering into committed relationships should not think of it as a comic book story, but as a serious engagement for life. Enter freely with understanding and be prosperous.
Swastham Shantam Sampurnam