शमथ। Samatha

When you marry someone, you just do not marry a person; you marry a whole different family. Even if you are in a live-in relationship, this reality does not change. Dating is a different game where you put forth your best  appearances; even then when you date long enough you can sense the family behind the person. It need not be a big family. It could be a single mother or father or exceptionally close siblings or favourite cousins. It comes in all sizes and packages.Don’t run to find an orphan, they come with even bigger families.

What you expect and what you get are different. You like to believe that the person sitting before you will be gift wrapped and given to you for the rest of your life, and like your favourite toy they will always make you happy. They may wrap up your partner in the fanciest way on the wedding day and deliver to you, but when you unwrap it you will never find what you agreed for.

You can annul the agreement and get your life back. But it won’t be any different each time you attempt to be in a relationship. It is beautiful to see people in love, making families, living together. But it is not always fanciful as in a romedy movie. The temptation is to live without it. That’s not a very informed decision. You are simply trying to avoid and suppress by taking such decisions unless you are looking at entering a monastery. But those who avoid and suppress won’t find any joy within a monastery too.

Life always thrives as a community. The individual has to find them-self within that. A community is dynamic, and the stronger always penetrate the weaker. The key is to strengthen yourself. Dogs live in packs, and they do not let a weak one live peacefully if they do not submit to the pack leaders. There is no point in crying or cursing your fate; it is nature. Fighting will only inflict wounds and some of them can be fatal.

Getting your core strengthened is the only way, and it is the most efficient way to a happy life.

Feel Blessed
Swastham Shantam Sampurnam