What does it mean to love? To love means to give yourself to somebody else. If the other also gives yourself completely to you, then it can be called union. Such love is extremely rare. Most of what we take as love around are giving oneself partially to the other. Do not confuse love with conjugal love alone. There exists love between a mother and a child, a friend and a friend, a teacher and students, a sibling and a sibling, a father and a child, etc.
What happens in love? In love, you live through the other. The other is the object of your love. Their happiness becomes your happiness, their sorrows become your sorrows. If this does not happen, it cannot be called love, because there will always be conflict. You will always be worried about what you did not receive from the other, whereas the one in love is always a giver. It does not mean you do not receive anything from the other, but there should not be any insistence.
Love is a great tool of self transformation. You will learn a great deal about yourself in love. It will reveal to you what kind of a person you are in your innermost chambers. The feelings evoked in you with each word from the one you are in love with is the easiest diagnosis you have about where you stand. Love has no other meaning than giving, constant giving. Whatever you receive from the other is a call to give more, not to expect more. For a lot of people, love is the opposite of whatever is spoken of above. They do not allow the one whom they are in love with to express themselves. For them love is a dog in a chain. To control somebody’s life from inside out is obsession. It is not only unhealthy, but also could lead to mental illness in both the parties. Do not go back to the cocoon of what you believe is love.
All you have heard are fairytales, and life is not a fairyland.
Swastham Shantam Sampurnam