You have not done ‘that’ does not mean you are quite the saint.
You like to be appreciated, but do you like to be blamed? How often do you think of the parts where you were not perfect when you are appreciated for any achievement? When it is a blame, how often do you find yourself not looking for an excuse? We built homes to protect ourselves from the elements. Our homes give us the support to evolve into someone brighter and superior to what we were born as.
Our homes are places where we are surrounded by friends and allies. You can call it the safest place on earth mentally. You will not walk into your office smelling like last night’s food. But you will not be shy to walk into your family smelling worse than that. At home, the angry words or unkind looks to each other is not hatred, but an unbound expression of feelings. If it gains any meaning more than that, it is time for a heartfelt conversation.
Unburden yourself without being anxious about what the other will think of you. Don’t you remember how freely you expressed yourself at home when you were growing up? Do you not see how freely your children express themselves at home? Do not do anything that changes the meaning of home. It should remain the safest place for you and everyone in it, a place for your growth mentally and physically. A home is not merely housing.
There are people who feel traumatised at home; those who cannot belong. They feel that they are unfairly targeted or denied by the others. Do not suffer in silence. Share with others at home how you feel. Most often you will hear them ask, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” What they are telling you is they were there for you and will be there for you; after all it is your home. When you do not express freely, you are making a situation worse in your mind, and with physical complications. You expect your family to be made of mind readers, but they are only humans like you. Be human in your home, it is the safest place to be.
Swastham Shantam Sampurnam