Be pleasing in the eyes of others, but let it not be your aim.

शमथ। Samatha

“I don’t care what others think of me” floats in the air like the perfect empowerment chant. Is it
as perfect as you think? It is true that being overly obsessed with what others think is unhealthy.
But don’t you think it is equally unhealthy to live as though the other does not exist at all?

Self should be at the center of your understanding. It is not the same as being self-centered. The
former is about developing a vision while the latter is about everything serving your interests.
You should not be obsessed about what others think about you, but you must definitely care
whether your actions and words can include others too.

In other words, be more inclusive and less judgmental.

The more nonjudgmental you are the more space for others in your lives. It works in two ways.
The less judgmental you become to others the less judgmental you will be to yourself. It will be
a transformation of nature. It also means that you have more people besides you whom you can
count on. This is a perfect cure for the loneliness a lot of people suffer from today.

Saying that you do not care about what others think of you could be a reactionary approach born of frustration.      Stop saying such things. Replace it with, “My words and actions have to be benevolent to myself as well as to others.” Thus you will neither be a slave to your desires nor to the judgments of others. You will once more be yourself.

Feel Blessed
Swastham Shantam Sampurnam